People are nice.
I mean, not all of the time and well, maybe not even all of the people. But for the most part, I find that people are nice.
Do you know someone who talks to everyone? Like, was your Mom that way, or a friend of yours? Do you cringe when they feel the need to engage the woman in front of you on line about their hair color or the headline on a gossip rag? “Angelina’s pregnant AGAIN???” “WHAT is JLo WEARING????”
My Mom makes small talk. And it doesn’t phase her one bit if you’re interested in getting to know her or not. She’ll compliment your lapel pin or ask if you prefer the vanilla flavored coke to the regular stuff when noticing it on your grocery cue. Mom likes to engage.
I can be the same way. I hold the door, and smile at people when we pass. I comment on the weather when entering from the outdoors. The post office ladies all know me. We roll our eyes and giggle at the impatient customers.
I figure it takes nothing to be friendly, and find that 90% of the time you get it back. Although I live in New York City and sometimes no matter how nice you are there are people here who simply refuse to be cheered up. I have to admit though…..I smile even bigger at those people. I think they’re funny.
Although, I did know a girl once who was really grumpy. I think about her a lot even though I shouldn’t, it gives her way too much power. Now I’m even writing about her, but she got to me. Boy, was she a grump. I mean, when she’d enter the room you’d hear a thunder clap. And we did not get along. She never liked me and I never liked her. And even though I’m sure she had her reasons for not liking me, I bet that it had more to do with the fact that I didn’t like her and had trouble hiding it.
I used be so embarrassed by how quick she was to be negative and fly off the handle. She would bring everyone down around her and never thought twice about it. Ever notice how people like that feel totally justified? If she wasn’t feeling well, or if she had a bad day, the world was going to pay for it. And pay we did. I’m still scarred from it.
Don’t you think that stuff is contagious? If you can catch happy, you can catch miserable right? I was miserable around that girl. I’m miserable thinking about her.
Anyway, I like being nice and I like nice people. It doesn’t get lost on me. And I think deep down, most of us feel that way.
So for today, let’s be nice.
☺
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I remember the first tine we spoke, even though I am sure you do not. A crowd of a couple of thousand people lined up at the zoo and you took the time to spend a few words with me.
It is your gift.
The ability to cross that gap between you and them.
It is part of the same gift that allows you to put that old sweater on and write songs that broaden that gift and allows it to reach thousands. That Jungian feeling that we all share in the experience you share.
I have a different form of this gift as I reach across the chaos people create and say “Isn’t this a stupid way to do this”.
Sometimes, as in this current economic crush I have to project anger instead of sad amusement. So, yes, I know there is a negative aspect to this gift. For me it is a choice. For the person you describe – a pathetic reaction.
Keep on sharing the gift.
What I think is amazing is how nice people become when you are nice to them. Nice feeds off nice and negativity feeds off negativity. If someone is annoying me, I try to keep my mouth shut and not say anything and just be really nice to them. One, I think it shows they couldn’t bring me down and two I feel like if you get into an argument with someone, then that person will have that bit of anger in them the rest of the day and might take it out on someone else. So for the sake of that innocent person later in the day getting yelled at by this person, because I decided to start a fight, I am nice instead. Like what if your cabbie was just nasty and you decided to tell him off before you get out of the cab. Well, then you could put him in a worse mood and then the next passenger he picks up he could drive completely recklessly and get into an accident. Or he goes home and yells at his kid for spilling a glass of milk and maybe hits that kid. Or whatever. Just because you couldn’t just say thank you and be on your way.
I love those commercials where someone does something nice and another person sees it and then they do something nice for someone else, etc. etc. I think that is so true!!
And by the way, nothing against cabbies. Just an example. I always chat with my cabbies and they are usually very nice and they love to chat it up with you!
“Do you know someone who talks to everyone?”
Yes, I do.
” Like, was your Mom that way”,
No.
“or a friend of yours?”
Yes, a class mate in graduate studies, about 13 years ago…
‘Do you cringe when they feel the need to engage the woman in front of you on line about their hair color or the headline on a gossip rag? “Angelina’s pregnant AGAIN???” “WHAT is JLo WEARING????” ‘
Yes, I do, if they engage about that kind of headline on a gossip rag. But I don’t cringe for the way you engage (about weather when coming from outdoors) – on the contrary. I would not cringe if they engage about something like “Why in the world does Robert Plant insist on doing his Alisson Krauss thing when Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and Jason Bonham are ready to tour, when there was a one off reunion show and when most likely he’ll be mostly remembered as the voice of Led Zeppelin?” either
“If you can catch happy, you can catch miserable right?”
At some point I became very critic of that friend of mine who was talking to everybody. And then I felt ashamed and remorseful. I still pay a price for being sometimes negative. But I think I improved myself mostly talking to customers on the phone at work.
Cassidy, it’s so nice to see you blogging again! It’s been a few months that we’ve seen you post some thoughts. I agree with what you’re saying. “A smile is contagious” I’ve also learned that you can “Attract more bees with honey”…. I think it’s important to have those relationships especially with the people you come into contact with frequently ie; your postal workers or your cashier at the grocery store. I’m in sales and I have a whole team that backs me in the office and takes care of my production that comes through the door and I’m only in the office once a week, but they tell they look forward to seeing me because they know that I always feed them positive energy and remind them how important they are and thanks for the good job they do. Just goes to show you that a little kindness will go a long way. “Kill them with kindness!”
Ok. Just called a “national holiday” for myself today. Hope you did too. (Really wish I remembered to buy that new Wally Lamb book..but I didn’t) Instead I’m pulling off someone’s open network trying to watch bootleg L Word episodes totally diggin the fact that the roomie HAD to go work and I’m actually home, which I never am.
I’m trying to watch “undertow”–I was at the show (did you know that?), but perhaps my ghetto connection won’t allow it. It keeps stopping. And I really wanted to hear it. It was a first at the show and like anything I love, I want more of it.
I switch to my new blackberry…I have NO idea how use that thing. My friend Iris is like……..”this is the “enter” button..” Ohhhhhhhh!!!……….still trying to figure how to make a call….lol. Ok. “x” that idea. I’ll wait.
um….I talk to everyone. Even if you aren’t listening. I like it. My father used to call me “gypsy”……where da hell is that gypsy now?……………..(I’m like 5 or 6) he’d turn his head until he found me….talking to some stranger………….still do it today. I touch things too…that doesn’t go over very well sometimes. If I see a shoe or scarf that has some juicy texture….I just have to…touch it. I like texture. At least I know it.
Evil. I stay away from evil. I like happyjoyousfree. Flowerswatersandsun. DebbyDowners drool while kids like us rule.
Great show at the Canal Room. You are a Happy Place, Cassidy for a lot of people. Your Street Team adores you-at the show, after the show, until the show, in between shows.
Keep rockin’——-I say it always: you must
-L